Almost cracked an old lady in the head with a plunger tonight at Walmart trying to get it off the side of a soda machine I had stuck it to.

and that's how i realized that he was my tchitcherine.

My options at the moment are to remain naked and under a blanket or put on a pair of jeans. But it is far too late at night for jeans.

april, fools.

if i was a fetus and i knew madonna was going to be my mom i would definitely abort myself

stoned watching The Blob

the movie, not my cock and balls

things i am excited for in 2012

1. the re-emergence of boy bands. 
2. the apocalypse killing everyone i hate.
3. zero gravity space fights
4. finally reaching the "quirky brunette" saturation point
5. godzilla being a thing again